The past twenty years of my life have been spent pretty much going from place to place, never settling in any one locality for more than three years or so. That cycle has been broken a little bit ever since my move here to Washington state, but the nigh-inevitable effects have always been there, and persist to this day: close friendships which may have been formed in one place fade to mere relationships, then silence after I move away, and – given my own rather introverted personality - I am slow to form new ones in my new locale. Meanwhile, my family – on both sides, never the closest or most affectionate bunch – remains pretty much where they were when I left Maryland two decades ago, content to stride in place in both location and life; not that such is necessarily a bad thing, but simply just how things are.
I offer the above preamble to highlight what is probably my biggest fear when it comes to my own impending fatherhood: for the most part -and for the foreseeable future – Carrie and I will be undertaking the wonderful journey that is parenthood pretty much alone. We have a few wonderful friends out here in Seattle, but for many days, it will be the two of us, doing what we can to give our children the love, attention and support that they need and deserve.
This realization saddens and terrifies me in its awesomeness, but it also, strangely, heartens me as well, for there are people upon whose munificence we can occasionally count, and this will (hopefully) motivate my Carrie and me to seek out others who can become friends to us, and whom we can become friends to as well. In this, I see opportunities for a truer appreciation of those who are around us, and who will be, and the expansion of our currently small circle of friends.
That is a good thing!
No comments:
Post a Comment