(Non) mea culpa

A couple of weeks ago, I recounted an incident during my early adulthood in which I lied to my parents and sneaked off down to DC to catch a rock concert with some friends. I was gently reminded that such a revelation might be upsetting to said parents, and that reminder has caused no small amount of introspection on my part. As a soon-to-be father, I can certainly sympathize with such a sentiment. I can certainly see where it would cause me no small amount of distress were I to learn that one of my children had not only lied to me, but crowed about doing so afterwards. Setting aside the specific details of my own upbringing - which, in the grand American scheme of things, was somewhat unusual but by no means unique – all I can say is that the greatest amount of any regret that I may feel stems not from the trip or revelation thereof, but from the falsehood told to facilitate such, and the fact that, were something to have happened during that day, my parents would have been in the dark for an untold number of hours as to my ultimate disposition.

However – and this does have to do with the specifics of my upbringing – I do feel no small amount of regret that, ultimately, in order for me to pursue that particular moment of self-indulgence, the lie - right or wrong, for ill or no - had to be told; such a condition is one that I would hope to avoid bringing about for my children. Easy thing for a parent to say, for a surety, and, in the end, the measured level of veracity of the interaction between a child and its parent is the only surefire way in which to determine whether or not such an endeavourer was ultimately successful. I'd like to think that my parents were largely successful, given that I mostly told the truth to them regarding my comings and goings, and my younger brother, given that his overall temperament and predisposition to general contrariness is almost the polar opposite of mine, probably did even more so. I'd like to be at least as successful as my parents were in my upbringing, but can probably expect not to be any more so.

As for the rest -

Caveat Lector: Those who read the writings of others, especially those with whom they are related to or closely associated with, should probably not be surprised when that person writes something that is not to their total liking; the risks of such are greater when we are dealing with people who have been separated in time and space from one another. People change, and even those with whom we are the most simpatico are likely to let us down with their viewpoints from time to time.

Caveat Scriptor: Those of us who scribe notre mots for public consumption should be mindful of the fact that our audience, be they hand picked or not, is a diverse bunch who will react in different ways from one another to the same series of written words. A lot of this has to do with the depth of their relationships to us – usually those who think that they know us the best may be the most surprised – and disappointed – at some of our revelations. While the more libertarian side of me strongly resists the urge to edit myself or advise such of others, my more learned, experienced and sagacious aspects urrge a strong sense of caution and tact when disseminating ones thoughts.

Finally -

I know that there a few people who had known me at various points during my life who are probably very surprised at the take that I have on several issues presently, given that they knew me as one type  of person. I would like to say that, at the core, I still hold many of the same values and have the same personality that endeared me to my friends at points past, and that any changes evident in my outlook more positively affect the quality of my interactions with people for the better; still, the more pragmatic side of me knows that some of the shifts may be marked enough to effect a sense of disappointment in some; I guess that such is the price that I willingly (but  never gladly) pay for not remaining a static individual.